COOLKEPT Nine
Up to 20m². Single bedroom, nursery, home office.
British homes are engineered to trap heat. That was a feature for two hundred years. COOLKEPT puts cold in the country before the forecast arrives, so the night it actually matters, there is stock, and it is at your door tomorrow.
Every retailer sells air conditioners in August, when they have none left. We watch the seven-day forecast by region and position units into local warehouses while it is still raining. That is the entire business.
Illustrative board. Live data at launch via national forecast feeds.
We do not sell nine models. We sell the unit that cools a British bedroom and the unit that cools a British living room, both on propane, both with a sealed window kit in the box.
Up to 20m². Single bedroom, nursery, home office.
Up to 32m². Living room, open-plan, loft conversion.
Every unit runs R290. It is the efficient refrigerant, and it keeps us clear of the F-gas quota regime that traps importers shipping HFC-charged equipment into Europe.
A portable AC venting into a half-open sash window is a fan with extra steps. Every order ships with a sealed window kit cut for British sash and casement windows.
Stock sits in UK warehouses, not in a container off Felixstowe. During a heat event, tomorrow morning is the only delivery date that means anything.
We would rather tell you this than sell it to you at a panic price. The cheapest day to buy an air conditioner is roughly a fortnight before you want one.
The models are still in the forecast. Stock is deep, prices are lowest, delivery is unhurried.
Confidence in the forecast rises. We move units into regional warehouses. Prices begin to firm.
National retailers sell through. Availability, not price, becomes the thing you are buying.
We hold reserve stock for next-day dispatch, but it is finite and it is not cheap. Do not be here.
An air conditioner is used for eleven days a year and stored for three hundred and fifty. Care exists because the storing is the part people get wrong, and because a unit you bought in 2027 should be worth something in 2032.
One email when we open, one before each heat event, none in between. List members get the T−14 price and first call on reserved stock.